Kate

"ALL MY BAGS ARE PACKED I'M READY TO GO"

2009-11-22T00:29:28Z

Today is my last day in California and I haven't done anything but Brad all day. And right now I can start to feel the sadness and emptiness that I'm going to be feeling soon. I'm not looking forward to saying good-bye again. I can't hardly breathe right now and I'm just writing about it.

It's been a long week and I'm happy that I've been able to spend this week with him and we're officially engaged and everything. But I'm also scared because I know then next time he comes home will be the last before he's deployed and I won't see him for at most a year. But we'll be getting married when he comes home so then we can have a big wedding when he gets back from deployment.

As the hours go by I feel like my heart is breaking a little bit more, I think it's a good thing just to show how much I do love Brad. and it's not good because it brings me down a lot and I'm not quite myself, and I'm not looking forward to getting on the plane and going back to Michigan. I feel bad for whoever has to sit next to me on the plane from San Diego to Denver(hopefully I'll have calmed down by then). I hate being away from Brad like this. But it comes with being with a Marine.

bluestar421 @ 2009-11-17T13:46:00

2009-11-17T21:46:51Z

So I'm sitting in Brad's room waiting to hear something from this girl Stacey... and I've been hanging out with this girl while Brad's at work and her boy friend is a Marine. So I stayed on base with Brad for lunch and then I planned on getting off base and either going to do some shopping or go to my hotel. Well Stacey who's 17 decided to just go to her hotel after she dropped her boy friend off at work.

Well fuck if she used her fucking brain. oh Kate's on base maybe I should pick her up... oh and her hotel is on the way to my hotel so I could easily drop her off and it would be so convenient. But no, she's stupid and young. So now I'm waiting for dumb ass to drive her happy ass back here so she can waste some gas and some time. fucking idiot.

I'm not hanging out with this chick anymore. This is ridiculous, where's the logic in leaving me on base... we've been hanging out for the past 2 days. Well I got to go... she's probably here and I'm still bitching about her.

bluestar421 @ 2009-10-02T21:46:00

2009-10-03T01:49:00Z

I'm bored. there's nothing new to report.

god I'm boring. my life use to be so exciting, now I just sit home a lot.

I need to start going out and doing shit.

The Time Traveler's Wife....

2009-08-18T01:18:29Z

Is in fact a very interesting read, it jumps around a bit but still good. And you might want to kill yourself after... I don't know, It could just be that I feel like the Wife in the book.

but anyway....

I had my appendix taken out, and fuckin hurt like a bitch... but I'm better now.

Oh yeah, my niece decided to kick me in the bellybutton which is where one of 3 incisions are... that just happened like 20 minutes ago... so it brought me to tears.

moving on...

I hate waiting for people. Whether it be to hang out or for someone to finally come home after being gone forever. I fucking hate it. This is exactly how I'm like the Time Traveler's Wife by the way. Never knowing when or where exactly her loved one is.

I'm also sick and tired of being yelled at by my family members saying stupid shit to me like "I'm milking it" as they refer to the surgery I had 1 week ago today. I believe I was out of the hospital 3 days and still in a lot of pain and they had the gull to say that to me. When today I'm lifting (which I'm not suppose to do) my niece up and down and babysitting just fine with no help from anyone else. I decided to go hang out with some friends yesterday and mind you I haven't left the house since I got home on tuesday.... so I was going nuts and my family decided to give me shit for it and then tell me to be home early. 10 o'clock hits... I'm on my way home... I get a text once I step onto my front porch saying... "where are you? you have to wake up early."

NO SHIT!!!! THAT'S WHY I'M HOME AT/AROUND 10PM!!!!!!!!

So I walk in the door and freak my mom and sister out... I enjoyed it. :)

I'm done, I'm tired, and I'm hurting still.

blah blah blah this is what's going on.

2009-07-26T01:51:54Z

So let me catch everyone up to date.

3 weeks ago I started taking a CNA(Certified Nursing Assistant) class through American Red Cross and now it's coming to an end. I've taken the written FINAL EXAM and passed.... sweet right?

Not really it's all common sense shit... but anyway this last week is Clinical. This is where I get to work with an old person with dementia and I am so fucked. This next week is the real test, and I don't know how well I'm going to do. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Moving On...

Brad moved to Camp Pendleton, California. So maybe he'll come home soon. fingers are crossed.

Oh and people need to stop calling me at ridiculous hours.

bluestar421 @ 2009-06-09T17:20:00

2009-06-09T21:30:05Z

I find it completely strange when people who have said "You ruined my life" to me...add me on myspace and or facebook.

This person felt pretty strong about that to have said "you ruined my life." Now mind you this person is older than me and I was 18 when I met them and yet I had such a strong influence on this person's life to have ruined it.

Okay basically this person is fucked up in the head and doesn't know what they want from life, and to find me and add me on a website is just weird.

Moving on.

Thanks to Matt... I now have to go and see "The Hangover". I wanted to see it anyway but now that he has told me that it was way better than expected I have to go see for myself.

I'm going up North to Gaylord to my Aunt's house on Friday.... It should be fun.

Right now my mom has the flu how got it from my sister...bitches. I swear to god if they get me sick, I'm going to be royally pissed at the both of them.

I'm also freaking out about these 8 chapters I have to read before my first day of class... yay!

And as always I miss Brad.

bluestar421 @ 2009-06-05T20:15:00

2009-06-06T00:32:39Z

OMFG!

I didn't ask for this what so ever.

Babysitting.

Worst JOB EVER!!!

Don't get me wrong I love my niece, but sometimes I want to put my head through a window or a wall. Anything that can match the pain of being home with just the kid all the time. It's cool that I don't really have to get dressed, but I can never go and do stuff with her. So I'm stuck in a house with the baby day in and day out.

No one in my house understands cabin fever. I hate hate hate that. My dad gets it, the one man who's suppose to mean the world to me, but doesn't... he gets it. I haven't lived with the man for 14 years and he understands me. This is fucked up.

Brad doesn't answer his phone because he sleeps all day. So I never get to really talk to him. Our conversations consist of.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too."
"What did you do today?"
"Eh, nothing."
...
...
"Okay."
"Well I got to go study."
or
"I'm gonna go take a nap before class."
or
"I'm gonna go get something to eat."
or
"Well I have to go."

"Okay, well I love you good night."
"Love you too, good night."
*CLICK*

I don't get how I am managing this shit. I'm surprised I haven't jumped out my bedroom window yet. I just keep getting the shitty end of the stick. At least that's how I feel.

bluestar421 @ 2009-05-28T18:14:00

2009-05-28T22:15:50Z

I'm done.

I hate people.

They're unreliable.

They lie.

They're usually full of shit.

They only think about themselves.

Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One

2009-05-22T21:14:00Z

Do you believe in monogamy?

View 501 Answers

Yes. I believe in monogamy. It's a beautiful thing to say that you have been with one person and only one during a relationship especially when you're married. Sure there's temptation but that's the beautiful thing if you can pull yourself away to stay faithful to one person that's great. I plan to do just that.

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

2009-05-22T21:08:55Z

WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A CELL PHONE IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO ANSWER IT???????

I DON'T GET IT.

YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE FOR PEOPLE TO CALL YOU ON OR TEXT YOU ON AND YET SOMEHOW YOU "MISS" PHONE CALLS... BUT HOW THE HELL IS THAT POSSIBLE IF IT'S WITH YOU 24/7???????

THIS DRIVES ME NUTS. I'VE BEEN TRYING ALL DAY TO TALK TO SOMEONE AND THEY DECIDED TO NOT PICK UP THEIR PHONE OR THEY'RE GOING TO COME UP WITH SOME LAME ASS EXCUSE ABOUT HOW THEY DIDN'T HEAR IT... IF YOU HAVE IT IN YOUR FUCKING POCKET AND HAVE IT ON VIBRATE THEN YOU SHOULD FEEL IT AND THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS CRAP.

GOD! MEN ARE IDIOTS!

"WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, I'LL PUT ON THE GLOVES"

2009-05-21T22:51:25Z

Not to piss off anyone... but I hate giving advice to people especially if they're just going to throw it away and have me waist my breath.

I try to be as helpful and supportive as I can but there comes a time when I am FUCKING FED UP!
I can only do so much advice giving and I feel bad for Matt Polley because I complain to him when I'm annoyed about other people's problems.

What I don't get is why it seems like I hear the same thing over and over. I don't know. I just can't give advice to people anymore because they never really listen to it in the first place.

:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D:-D

Also on fucking facebook....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

If I see one more fucking status shit thing saying I miss my boy friend blah blah blah I'm a whiny bitch I'm going to gouge my eyes out. They complain about not seeing their significant others over the weekend or they're away for a month for whatever reason... Listen here you little twats. I HAVEN'T SEEN MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER IN 7 GOING ON 8 MOTHER FUCKING MONTHS!!!!!! I have NO sympathy for you, and I wish people didn't post shit like that every other fucking day.

Also I hate when people post new pictures of themselves everyday.
How do you have time to take pictures of yourself? go out and do something than sit and try to look pretty for the damn camera.

Let's get everyone up to date.

2009-05-05T17:47:46Z

Lets start from today and work our way back.

Well I had a very depressing dream that has effected my entire day so far. It started off me talking to my mom and sister about who I would want around when I died, and then I died. I never got to tell them who I wanted around or anything. So I'm dead in my dream and come to find out my soul never passed on so I was stuck here on Earth watching everyone else live their lives and watch them get me ready for my funeral and on top of it they couldn't get Brad to come home for it either. Then I had to watch them go through my room and get rid of my stuff. Then eventually I learned how to make myself appear to people so I made myself visible for my mom. And I tried to tell her that I'm stuck here and there's nothing I can do about it. So I'm just this ghost floating around wondering what the hell I have to do to move on from this. Then I woke up sobbing. Let me tell you not a good way to start the day.

Yesterday. I did a bunch of running around with my sister and I had to get a shot for this class and then Laura wanted to get the Cervical Cancer Vaccine shot. So we did and they gave us this "what could happen" sheet of paper to read over. So it said 8 out of 10 people are fine after this shot the other 2 feel like crap basically. So I was like watch I'm going to be the 2 people that feel like crap. So after I got the shots and shit that I needed to get done my arm was sore. So I was like okay, I'm okay.

Then I went to the bathroom to wash my hands for whatever reason. Then I come back out to where Laura's standing at the counter paying for the shots we both just got and then I say to her. "I don't feel so goooooooddddddd." and then my head went down and then the rest of my body followed in suit. So my sister got to watch me eyes roll back into my head and then she started yelling for a nurse. I really thought I was dying for a minute. When I opened my eyes I was kind of wondering why I was lying on the floor with a bunch of people hovering over me. The one nurse that gave me the damn shots in the first place was propping my legs up on her knee. Another lady told my sister to back off and give me some air because it was kind of hard to breathe. So Laura got up and started fanning me with some papers that were sitting on a table.

So eventually I got a Kool Aid juice pack and a blanket for my head. Then eventually I got to sit up and drink the juice and keep the blanket. Then I got to finally go home and feel like shit all day.

yay!

Oh yeah and compulsive liar keeps trying to be my friend and talk to me. Which is annoying I want nothing to do with her, and Matt Polley agrees... SHE SHOULD DIE AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE AND STOP TRYING TO INFECT THE WORLD WITH HER STUPIDITY.

THE END.

First Dance.

2009-04-28T19:41:51Z

So I'm pretty sure that I've found the song Brad and I should dance to as our first dance as husband and wife. let me know what you think. It's Called Annie's Song and it's by John Denver. I love it. here's the lyrics you can look up the song if you want to hear it.

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.

Come let me love you,
let me give my life to you
let me drown in your laughter,
let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you,
let me always be with you
come let me love you,
come love me again.

(instrumental)

You fill up my senses
like a night in the forest
like the mountains in springtime,
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the desert,
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my senses,
come fill me again.

MY DAY OFF. he he

2009-04-28T03:00:40Z

I'm okay...at the moment. but earlier is a completely different story.

So... my mom woke me up with a call to my cell phone saying...
"will you rake out the front yard and I'll pay you $50 bucks."
me. "sure."
So then I get up and realize my cousin Pam is dropping off her daughter so I can baby sit.. and she can go study for this test she's taking on wednesday.
So I tell Laura to write me out a check so I can run to the bank and deposit it, and go and get lawn bags for the leaves and such in the front yard.

So I race to the bank, and to Home Depot... and did all that in about 25 minutes. go me! I like to drive fast at times.

So I made it back home before Pam got there...

As it turns out the wind wanted to be a bitch today and blow around everything that I raked up so I said fuck this shit and called me mother and told her "it's too windy."
"okay."

Then my sister decided to take me and the 2 kiddies out for 2 hours in the sucky windy sunny day. ABC Warehouse... sucks... they have barely any chairs and I didn't want to sit next to some old guy that was staring at me in a strange manor. Then there was an angry mexican, and I was done searching after that. Then we went to the Library where Regan(Pam's daughter) decided to screech and just be loud. There was a kids section...of course... and they had this wooden hippo that held all of the puppets and Regan started pulling them out one by one screeching at each animal as she pulled them out and I shushed her. Then we finally got to leave and go to the place that was the main event... THE PARK. But before we could I had to pick up all of the puppets Reagan pulled out and set on the floor. yay!

So the park... pretty much consisted of me sitting on a picnic table until my sister said...
"Kate take Jaclyn and Reagan to the top of the slide so I can get a picture."
at this point I'm sweaty and wind burned and just wanted a shower and a bed... not hold a hot baby on hot plastic slides that are meant for small children to slide down... I felt like such a FA. Oh then on top of it, I was wearing a tank top the turned out to be kind of low cut, and when Laura took the pictures it wasn't until later that she told me I was all cleavage. FUCKING GREAT!!
So I take Jaclyn to the top of the slide posed for a couple of pictures and slid down.

Then Pam showed up to join us at the park, this is where me just resting while we watched Reagan slide on the slide. Pam used me as her practice person thing to go through the steps that she needed to study the most. Like it wasn't bad but I much would have rather gone and collapsed on the very green grass that looked like it needed to be laid on.

Then we went home... and I'm not done yet there's more.

Pam leaves again to go study, my mother comes home from work, my brother appears out of thin air... I never see him come in the house or leave but I know he does. Any who... Laura didn't measure some stuff out and we had to go back to ABC Warehouse. But first I went to Kelly's place of work and got my CD. So we're back at ABC Warehouse where the guy who helped us the first time talked to us again and then he said "Wow you look tired." to me. I wanted to say no shit Sherlock I fucking walked around the city of CL for 2 hours and didn't really get to rest at each place. So then I got a crappy dinner, I mean it was good just not very filling. Salad. From Buddy's.

So Kelly got out of work shorty after all of this eventful day and rescued me from having to do anything at my house. So we dyed her hair and it looks good btw.....and now I'm writing this and while I have been writing this Kelly has decided to be a completely creepy person with stuffed animals making them do god only knows what to my back... and I think now we're gonna go get some food, because I'm hungry and so is Kelly.

THE END.

bluestar421 @ 2009-04-25T17:06:00

2009-04-25T21:33:53Z

Why do people lie?
Obviously to hide something, but is it really necessary?
The thing that I think is funny, is that when they get caught and then try to ignore you.
That's the greatest... guys tend to do this.

It's just really sad that when these people get caught they either avoid you, or lie like hell to convince you that you're completely wrong.

people suck.
I'm done trying to make new friends, I always get fucked over somehow... so I'm done. Liars stay away from me.

Hmmm.....

2009-04-24T22:36:10Z

so today I logged into my account on this website and this guy asks me.
"hey do you want to play questions? I know it can get very personal it's alright if you say no"
so I say "sure" whatever, I'm A. never going to meet this guy and B. I haven't been hit on by someone this sexy in a long time. He was very attractive. so he tells me you start the questioning.

well I didn't want to start so I asked something like "what's your favorite color"
he said blue... I hate blue. I'd tell you why but that's an entire different story.
Then eventually he asked me if I had a boy friend, I said no, I have a fiance'. I'm surprised he didn't stop talking to me right then and there.

So basically I learn his name is Jon and he lives in Troy, MI. and some other stuff but I'm not going to get into that. We were talking online for about 2-3 hours. I couldn't believe it. So then finally Jaclyn woke up and then he said he had to go. So timing was perfect.

So my question to this is.

Can Men and Women be just Friends that they are attracted to?

I think so, and I know nothing will ever happen with Jon just because I'm completely infatuated with Brad and I can't see myself with anyone else in this world.

WHAT'S THE POINT.

2009-04-24T00:37:09Z

So everyone was pushing me to get my license. So I got it.
Now while I was in the process my mom was telling me that I could use her car. and it would be great.
HA HA HA HA HA, that's funny I think.

How stupid is this.
I can't drive the car at night.
I can't drive when I'm angry.
I can't drive to go hang out with my friends.
I can't drive in bad weather(rain).
I can't drive just to get out of the house.

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF GOING THROUGH ALL OF THE TROUBLE TO GET IT IF I CAN'T DRIVE OR DO ANYTHING THAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the only times I can drive.
Picking up food.
Getting gas.

bluestar421 @ 2008-07-28T21:59:00

2008-07-29T02:01:16Z

My Bradley left today for the Marines and I can't quite seem to get it together.

I already miss him and he hasn't even been gone a full 24 hours yet.

I'm going to try and keep myself busy and stay out of trouble while I'm at it too.

:'(

What's going on right now.

2007-09-30T17:04:17Z

So I haven't posted anything in a while so I felt that maybe I should now.

Well I'm going to Macomb Community College (South Campus) and that's okay so far. I applied for a Disney internship, and I'll be finding out shortly if I'm accepted and If I'm moving down to Florida. So that should be cool. Just so everyone knows I will be getting paid at this internship. Everyone keeps asking me if I know what internship means, and yes I do. So that is my random news.

Oh and I'm still Dating Bradley. All is well in that area of my life.

bluestar421 @ 2007-05-08T22:07:00

2007-05-09T02:12:09Z

so, prom is getting closer, and I'm not nervous. Some of my family members asked me if I was nervous, and I said no.... what is there that I could possibly be nervous about? It's not like I'm losing my virginity friday... lol... but you know I've been dating Brad for a while now, the nerves are not really there, I'm fine when we hang out.

but anyway, I'm doing good. I'm Happy for once...yay!!

4 MORE DAYS

2007-04-18T02:22:34Z

so yeah lately has been interesting... that's for sure.
I hate running into ex-boyfriends. It's always akward... I don't know how else to explain it.

I ran into this person at the movies when I was with my friend and my sister... I freaked that's for sure... you should have seen me.. it was pretty funny... although I found it hard to breath.... I don't know.

I don't like people in general I've noticed and I hate giving advice when people ask me for it... DO WHAT YOU WANT IT'S YOUR LIFE... MESS IT UP ALL YOU WANT, AND I DON'T WANT TO BE BLAMED FOR THE ADVICE THAT YOU TOOK FROM ME... I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF SCREWING UP ANYONE ELSE'S LIFE... LOOK AT MINE... IT'S PRETTY CRAZY... NO ONE SHOULD EVER WANT TO BE ME.

Well that's my rant for this month.

Oh yeah I'm turning 18... I'm going to be an adult... this sucks.

misery loves company

2006-12-22T23:48:28Z

I've been tired all day. I can't stand when people are always breathing down my neck with questions and I don't have answers to them. I just feel like dying and no one would really miss me. I just want to be alone right now and I can't get that. I want to move out and live a lonely boring life and at least I would know that I'm not tied down to anything or anyone. I want to have free life. Nick needs to just stop asking questions that I can't answer. I want everyone off my case I can't explain the pain and emptiness I feel inside myself.

You know the saying misery loves company well this on doesn't. I hate that saying. It's so not true. If anything I want a hug from a friendly face that I don't see all that often. I just need them to tell me that this will pass and I will be able to live my life.

I just want to be shot down and I don't want to get up. I know I have someone to live for but I don't feel like I do. I love Brad but everything is mundane now, and not exhilarating like it use to be. Now it's just like " you're there whenever I want to do something" But I want it to be more then that.

<3<3<3<3

2006-12-11T00:54:02Z

I <3 Brad!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-06T00:50:58Z

Today was stressful, and lets put it this way ...... it hasen't gotten better.

This morning I woke up before my alarm clock which was set for 4:30am and I woke up at 4:00am. I hate it when I do that. Ten my ride was late so then I just had my mom drive me to swim practice. Then I forgot that my frst hour class had to do this stupid thing where someone watches how the teacher works in the classroom. That took for ever to actually get to doing work.

The second hour was okay, except for the standing and sitting up and down every 10 seconds! That class ended and I went to 3rd hourand I knew I wasn't going to like that class today. Everyone in there is bitchy and whiney and dumb, because they don't understand how to work a camera and how to take Action shots with a blurred background..... or take a Panning Shot which is when you focus on a subject and follow it and the background is blurred like everything is moving.

Lunch came that was fine. fourth hour was okay, I finished my turtle I'm making and started the layout for another project. Then Fifth hour.... it was okay at first then I had nothing to do. So I was threatened to do work, so I made up some shit to do.

Oh man I hate Drama Try Outs..... they suck. first thing we had to do for auditions was learn part of a song...... and most of you know that if you're not a chior girl there's a reason for it. I actually cried a little for the fact that this one girl couldn't sing for the life of her, and she was a louder singer, so it was high pitched, and out of tune. I was just bad. Then they split us into 2 groups and then people who couldn't really sing stayed in the chior room, and the ones who could went into the auditorium to try out for an acting part. Finally I got fed up with the try outs after I did my singing portion.

Then practice came and I was already tired, and annoyed so we hand to do a 1000 warm up wich was a 400 swim 300 kick and 300 drill, then it went into a 500 swim, 2x250s kick 3x100s drill 4x50s sprint. I had to do that 4 times but I only made it to the end of three, and it went butterfly, back, breast, and I didn't make it to free. I even brused my wrist doing backstroke. I didn't count my strokes from the flags to the wall and I hit the wall. I got cramps in both my legs around the same time and I was in the middle of the pool... I almost died.

I need to sit and watch TV with Brad next to me calming me down, I hate today..... I didn't get to go home until 7:15pm. I was at school for about 14 hours. NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

kinda recent

2006-10-05T02:07:27Z

so lately........

.....

Swim season has been going great we were undefeated until we faced South Lake yesterday with their stupid crazy German swimmer girl on that team. What a bitch, but they're also 2 divisions ahead of us....so it's expected for them to be good. Good this is they didn't slauter us like the other teams they've faced.

In the South Lake meet I place 3rd in the 100 backstroke with a 1:24, I gained 4 seconds but I can't expect to get the same time everytime. I can only hope for the best and swim my heart out. oh yeah the day we faced Marie City was the best meet ever! I got a 1:21 on my backstroke and 2:37 on my 200 freestyle, that day I was feeling pretty awesome.